I want to show you some action figure theater: General Jack O'Neill is briefing the new president about the Stargate programme. Enjoy!
A huge Thank you goes to lolmac for the beta of the English dialogue!
Jack: [knocking] Knock, knock. Do you have a minute, Mister President?
Obama: [inviting] General O’Neill! Sure, come on in. How’s the fishing?
Jack: [jovial] I’m just on my way. But there are important matters I have to discuss with you first, Sir. I’m here to officially brief you on the Stargate programme.
Obama: Star- what?
Jack: The Stargate, sir. It’s an alien doohickey, a kind of round spinny thing, which…
Obama: Round spinny thing? Is that a technical term?
Jack: [shrugging] Not exactly. Carter could explain it so much better than I.
Obama: [wondering] Well, then why didn’t you bring her with you?
Jack: [wincing] Actually, I did, sir. If you please could help me with the backpack?
Sam: Colonel Samantha Carter reporting, sir!
Sam: [apologizing] Sorry, Mister President. There was an accident in Dr. Lee’s laboratory, which resulted in a massive case of…
Jack: [interrupting] He shrunk Carter.
Sam: [annoyed] I’m sure we’ll soon be able to reverse it. Anyway, this is a model of the Stargate. It’s made of naquadah, measuring roughly 22 feet in diameter and weighing about 64,000 pounds. It breaks down matter into patterns of energy and then…
Jack: [zoning out and only hearing technobabble naquadah technobabble subspace technobabble vortex technobabble Event Horizon technobabble wormhole]
Obama: [wondering] What is a wormhole?
Sam: It’s called a wormhole because…
Jack: [piping up] Oh please, not the analogy with the apple again!
Sam: [glaring] … it goes through space like a worm through an apple. It’s controlled with a DHD – that’s short for a Dial Home Device
Jack: By the way, Mister President, I have a present for you. It’s called a GDO. If you ever happen to be on the wrong side of the Stargate, just punch those numbers, and we’ll open the door for you.
Obama: Thank you, Jack, but I don’t think that will be necessary. How could I end up on the wrong side of the Stargate anyway?
Jack: [mumbling] Thor, old buddy, this is your signal. Take him for a ride!
Jack: [suspicious] Just what else do you have in that bag of yours, Carter?
Sam: [blushing] Um, nothing, sir.
Jack: [insisting] Lemme see!
Jack: You have a doll? Of ME?!?
Sam: [trying to find a rabbit hole]
Jack: [bemused] I wonder if her getting smaller has been an accident after all.
End of story
I'm famous *thud*
Pictures of Obama in Dresden part 1
Pictures of Obama in Dresden part 2
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